On Sunday, the 14th of June 2020, India and Indians everywhere woke up to the news of the death of Sushant Singh Rajput, a well known Indian actor. He committed suicide at the young age of 34 years and initial reports suggest that a history of clinical depression may have been the reason behind him taking this extreme step. Only a few days before, his former manager, Disha Salian, had also been found dead, another suspected suicide. One can only wonder if that had been the final nail in the coffin – a tragic incident that had confirmed his view that the world had nothing left to offer that was worth living for.
It is very easy to say that suicide is not a solution for depression or that those who take this extreme step are not mentally strong enough to live life with its ups and downs. I am sure we have all heard someone tell us that we are not the only one with problems. That millions of kids go hungry everyday, that there are people who have been chased out of their homes by war and strife, that human beings are bought and sold everyday … the list goes on and on. These are some the horrible things that happen in our world everyday, there is no denying that fact. The problem arises when we think that we can help someone who is depressed by merely pointing out how privileged they are in comparison.
Then again, how many us actually have the capability of recognizing the danger signs relating to mental health? What most people do not realize is that depression is not something that can be dismissed by being positive and upbeat. We will never tell someone battling cancer to just snap out of it but if someone is perceived as downcast or sad, chances are we will just dismiss him or her with a pithy ‘I am sure everything will be alright” or “Stop dwelling on your negative thoughts. Not to say that we do this out of malice or insensitivity – it is just that we do not know how to handle the situation. Our understanding of mental health is limited to a cycle of cause and effect. It is easier for us to accept that someone committed suicide due to financial instability but we keep on wondering what could prompt a celebrity, a person adulated by millions, someone who outwardly had everything going for him, to end his life. There is no tangible cause here and so the questions come. Why didn’t he talk to anyone? Why didn’t the people around him understand? Why did no one help him? What could have possibly gone so wrong that such a promising life was cut short?
Chances are, people had tried to help. They had talked to him, had tried to keep him positive, had tried to cheer him up in every way they could. Yet maybe, every time, he had been told to stay positive and to look for the bright side of life, a little voice in his head had told him how useless he was for disappointing all his well wishers. Maybe he had just not been able to stop the darkness in his head and he had convince himself that it had all been on him. He had it all, didn’t he, the love and the support that many have to live without and yet he had not been able to do the one thing that had been asked of him. And so he had pretended – pretended to smile, to laugh, to be the life and soul of the party. Maybe had he pretended so well that even those in the know had thought that he had recovered, that he had gone back to being the same person he had been before the dark shadows had overtaken him. And so this farce had continued till one night the facade had slipped away and he had been all alone and it had just been easier to stop playing the part and succumb to the blessed release of death. It had probably only taken a moment but it had been a moment he had not been able to look back from.
Depression is a disease, a silent killer if left unchecked. It is a disease which requires the intervention of a medical professional, just like cardiac disease or even a broken bone. Yoga and meditation and spending time with family and friends can help the process but like any other disease these are not the cure. Yet conversations about mental health continue to be swept under the carpet everyday. Studies suggest that 1 in 7 women suffer from postpartum depression but rarely are family members cautioned about the signs to look out for. India has one of the highest suicide rates among the age group of 15-29 yet even today youngsters live under the constant pressure of living up to a myriad of expectations. The concept of therapy – though it is slowly becoming more prevalent – is still considered as something that is an indicator of insanity and therefore taboo in a society that prides itself on perfection. Rarely does a day go by without at least one suicide not being reported in the news and all we do is read it and spend a few minutes feeling sorry before going on with our lives.
The truth is all of us go through lows in our lives. Who among us have never lost a loved one, gotten fired, had a bad breakup, lost their financial stability, failed an exam … the list can go on and on. Some of us can bounce back, but for some, it may seem that they are teetering on the edge of a deep abyss. Even an insignificant pebble shifting under their feet can cause them to plunge down headlong, never to resurface. The need of the hour is to remove the stigma that is associated with issues pertaining to mental health. Let us talk about it and share our own stories and maybe there will be those who will listen and tell themselves that they are not as alone as they had imagined, that maybe there is someone in their corner who would understand what they are going through. Maybe.
Rest In Peace, Sushant Singh Rajput
